Loss, Lost, Losing

Last modified on 2009-07-03 15:23:24 GMT. 0 comments. Top.

Loss, Lost, Losing
Here is a mixtape of my favorite Current 93 songs. They are really great.

1. The Shining Shining World
2. Whilst the Night Rejoices Profound and Still
3. The Teeth of the Winds of the Sea
4. Bind Your Tortoise Mouth
5. Moonlight, You Will Say
6. A Silence Song
7. Anyway, People Die
8. The Carnival is Dead and Gone
9. Hourglass For Diana
10. All the Stars Are Dead Now
11. Earth Covers Earth
12. Butterfly Drops

This mixtape was made by our friend Luke
Download it HERE or email us HERE and we’ll mail you one.

Dad, What is it like?

Last modified on 2009-07-03 15:21:50 GMT. 0 comments. Top.

Dad, What is it like?
    As I near the age of thirty and having grown-up without a father I have recently begun to think about father/son communication in-depth. Since I was never really a “son” what would it be like to be a “dad.” What would it be like to look at my teenage son as he timidly asked for some truths, some secrets, some anything from the world of men. I feel that not having ever had those moments with my own father I tend to romanticize them as well as discount them. Maybe it is the slow and painful, and nearly complete, death of the American male that has caused such a cynical contradiction or perhaps it is just what happens to any boy who gets called up to be the man of the house at far too young an age. All that said, this is a collection of songs for any father to listen to with his son and hopefully pass along the only lesson that will ever help out his boy; men carry sorrow onward.

J.W.

1. Beck – Lost Cause
2. Bonnie “Prince” Billy – I Am Drinking Again
3. Bruce Springsteen – Straight Time
4. Camper Van Beethoven – All Her Favorite Fruit
5. Elgin James – Your Deepest Scar
6. Fred Neil – The Dolphins
7. James Carr – Dark End of The Street
8. Mickey Newbury – The Future’s Not What It Used To Be
9. Richard Buckner – The Worst Way
10. Simon & Garunkel – The Only Living Boy In New York
11. Smog – I Break Horses
12. Tim Rose – Long Time Man

This mixtape was made by our friend J.W. Buckley.
Download it HERE or email us HERE and we’ll mail you one.

Summer Wolves

Last modified on 2009-07-03 15:20:38 GMT. 0 comments. Top.

Summer Wolves

1. Beach Boys – Anna Lee, The Healer
After a long search to find the right learning environment for me, my mother handpicked the most demented preschool on the planet. She thought that it would be best to have a “laid back” type of surrounding for me to learn how to interact and play nice with others. I was always a step ahead of impatience, and I guess my social problems were foreseen early on. My preschool was run by some alliance of Charlie’s Angels, but not the Jujitsu-fighting, handgun wielding, C-cup supermodel kind. They were more of the forehead-swastika, black magic Kool-Aid cup cultist type of girls. A far cry from prime time, these Manson Family rejects were naked more often than not. Seeing a flower child in her birthday suit handling various types of firearms at such at tender age really raises the bar for future education. The only male teacher that was there told me that before I could go swimming with the daughter of my mom’s best friend, I had to get completely naked and do push-ups on top of her. He also instructed me to make loud animal noises during the act and said that if I did so correctly, then in nine weeks I would be the father of a new puppy. I thought it was a pretty good time and wanted to go for a rematch, but the pig-tailed girl was so traumatized that she went into a closet and ate a bunch of mothballs and was rushed to the emergency room to have her stomach pumped.
2. The Sound – Heartland
I met Rose in an isle at Tower Records on sunset. It was a half hour walk thru Hollywood hotel and nightclub hell from my house to those illuminating yellow and red lights. I was on a mission to replaceJeopardy. Christmas’s and Thanksgivings will never be the same. Untied Trainers and the perfume of Sassy back issues… we both needed the company.
3. Summer Hits – Away From The City
Hollywood, where had your leading ladies moved to? That was what it had once been famous for, didn’t it remember? I had to get out, like OUT. On top of Mulholland Drive I screamed out my favorite hooker’s name and wished for the return of the nights. It was those types of nights that had kept me alive and filled me with years of hope. To breathe that air again would have been far better than death, even if I had to make it through a few thousand more nights like all the others, with all the others. The trash palace had permanently vacated. My insides turned as I walked around those homes in the hills knowing that she could be serving a faded star or a lonely unattractive doctor in any one of them. For once I was glad that I would never be able to afford that life. The cars raced below me and my head felt more disconnected than ever. The same songs played over and over, just for the ghost of her and I. The air and lights up there made this life seem almost worth it. Stay space age, young pretty thing.
4. Leaving Trains – She’s Looking At You
I was just out of the swimming pool of this hotel that my mother and I were staying in. We were spending a few days in Orlando with my aunt and cousin. They sprung for the hotel. Their hotel was one of the main Disney one’s and our hotel was off grounds miles away. It was already my favorite swimming pool of all time. The smell was addictive, bleach and the girls of summer. Playing Karate Champ with the Leaving Trains tape that I had just scored from a Tracks dollar tent sale on my headphones thinking about this girl.  She was new in town. The crystals my mother had just bought for me were uncomfortable in my back pocket. I was about to defeat the game when the new girl from class tapped me on the shoulder. She had stalked me from three hours away.
Wolf, you will never look that good again, you will never be that young again.
5. Incredible Kidda Band – You Belong To Me
In a farewell to all the to all the records laced with the demons, ghosts, and haunted memories that stained the atmosphere of Miss Nite City I put on the double Kidda Band LP for the last dance. I shot the past and in mid play tossed it out the window and for a brief second I felt like a two thousand man sent two thousand three hundred years back in time. I had been briefly rejuvenated with a smile knowing that I was about to master the art of leaving without a trace.
6. Rain Parade – I Look Around
Lisa and I met while waiting for the bus. She was glued to a bottle and smoke… reading a book that I’d read. I got off at her stop just because. She strategically misplaced her lighter and we got talking. Instead of getting invited in like every other slob, we just fumbled around in circles, punishing one and another with awkward little nothings. “Sorry, I guess I’m not that drunk yet. Um… fuck, do you want to work nights at the cinema with me?” Lisa cleaned this duel room art house cinema after hours. Sometimes we would have parties and watch movies with her friends, other times we wouldn’t say a word. Most nights I’d get high and if Lisa was “that drunk” we’d touch. If not, I’d do it myself in a room that I knew she’d have to clean up. It was a baby goosestep to rape. By the time I had finally made it to Lisa’s room there wasn’t much left besides the ghost of a futon, trash, a few different sized inflatable palm trees, more trash, and a Rain Parade record.
7. A New Personality – A Essential Things
Forever still in love with the girls with wrapped up wrists and dead pets in their mother’s freezers.
8. Throwing Muses – Not To Soon
Everyone always wanted to talk to me about her tits but I never really saw them. Well once at a gay bar’s “straight wave” night. She was dancing isolated to “Not To Soon.” An all black wardrobe that perpetually reeked of cloves, a decent record collection, and an E cup… for a moment I thought I was home. That was honestly the only night I saw anything of hers. Yes, we went out (stayed in) for a year but those details are hard to focus on when you’re constantly pretending her body’s another’s. She was just an idea, one that gave me a really good nights sleep. I dated those first hours for almost a year. Come to think about it I’ve never really dated anyone. Only ideas and those early moments that I thought I had shared with someone. Ironically now I find myself jerking off to her tits at least once a week.  
The Past is such a grotesque animal.
9. Steel Pole Bathtub – Thru the Windshield of Love
We had ended up at the play motel trying to fuck out the screams of too much speed that were coming from all of the next doors. The screams never stopped in that motel. They placed STDs and clean needles under the pillows. The alarm clocks were set to the neighbors fuck, fight, fuck, fight festival to let us know what we would become if we didn’t check out immediately. We’ve been here for years.
10.  Another Sunny Day – You Should All Be Murdered
Blizzard winds and the Baltimore road trip where I lived out all of my childhood fantasies of seeing the aftermath of a roadside nuclear apocalypse in the 23rd dimension. Thirteen hours trapped in a car to the same Japanese thrash tape on a journey that was suppose to only take three hours. The roads were covered in ice and carnage. I was nothing but erect for the entire mission. The death on ice show was spectacular and filled with all of the ingredients that you need for the viewing of total war. Random car parts, broken high heels, spinning eighteen-wheelers, dead wildlife, gigantic trees that devour small children blocking the freeway, missing limbs, comedic help signs rapidly being covered by the great white death, hallucinations of the Yeti, were just a few of the dazzling visuals that set the backdrop for the ride of my life. Tomorrowland’s newest and greatest attraction the Night Of The Comet ride dropped me off in Hoboken at the path station where I ended up lost in a New York fairytale listening to an Another Sunny Day tape that Ivy made for me. The sky was trapped in a sempiternal twilight, there was not a soul on the street and instead of walking all the way east I wandered all the way west to find a side of my town that I never knew existed. With a bag full of records from South Street and a few souvenirs from the Mutter Museum my heart was again full on the most beautiful solitary Manhattan night of my life. Through a joyful march through the cold lands in my head I fell even harder for my past and a night that I had once known.
11. Revolving Paint Dream – Green Blue Sea
Reminds of a girl and a night… just not certain if I have meant either of them yet.
12. Martha and the Muffins – Swimming
Water parks and fireworks, hot summer in suburbia. Pissing in the wave pool to the cries of sister’s missing bikini top. The chlorine tastes like Aqua Net. Holding my breath until the crotches come to life.
13. Mojave 3 – Return To Sender
She walked on a different caliber of ice than that set of trust fund street trash. I was in dire need of a girl who was already old at twenty. Hollywood Boulevard sparkled all over her face. She had mystical pink frost flavored porn breath and we were soon reenacting Valley Girl at the top of Laurel Canyon. She was topless and the diamonds in her eyes complimented the swastikas in mine. Why couldn’t they ever just fall out of the sky on New Year’s Eve, all caught up to speed and okay with the complex politics of my complicated world instead the usual with me on top of a rich man’s valley drunk on ghetto spirits, half naked and screaming quotes from kult movies that I had loved up until that moment. Well there’s no point in exploring apartments that have already been comprehensively analyzed, now is there? Some days I wished that I had a red button to press. It wouldn’t necessarily have had to always destroy everything. It could have just taken me away. The girl wouldn’t shut up. I so wished she was an instrumental track, preferably an outro. It would have been so much better to have gone home alone and jerked off to the look in her eyes. I thought about taking the long lonely leap off of Mulholland Drive. One more word and the untouchable valley mall queen of nineteen-eighty-everything’s plastic head would explode and give Hollywood a new and improved paint job. Good thing she was no longer valid. I thought about how she would have been way more attractive in a full body cast with her multiple jaws wired shut and got kind of hard all over again. If that had been the case, I might even have taken her to a photo booth. Instead we just kissed. She kept going down. Some girls were more tragic than others. All my life, my heart has yearned for a thing I cannot name and that was not it. Or go ask New Jersey… Mojave sounds totally different there.

This mixtape was made by our friend Max G. Morton.
Download it HERE or email us HERE and we’ll mail you one